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Play To Win

2/14/2023

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One of the biggest personal problems I have had throughout my life is that far too often I play not to lose instead of playing to win. What do I mean? In basketball whenever I got the ball, there was always this fear I had of screwing up, so I would play as safely as possible. I would often only take shots I thought I could make, which meant I didn’t shoot much, and I would try to pass the ball as soon as it worked out well for the team. In this way, I never screwed up when I played, I didn’t have many turnovers, and my shooting average was 75%, but I didn’t play much because I didn’t contribute much to the team winning. I was so focused on not looking foolish or not failing, that I wasn’t thinking about how to score more points for my team and win the game. There is a whole mentality around playing not to lose rather than playing to win, and I think that it marks the difference between the losers and the winners in life. The person who plays not to lose will do well at their job, but when it’s time to go home, then they are going home even if there are still things to get done on the job. So long as those things are not so important that they risk getting in trouble, then it is okay if they get left undone. The person who works at their job wanting to win is the person who stays and makes sure that the job gets done, and that it gets done right. Not because they’re worried about getting yelled at, but because they want to succeed in what they are doing, and so they stay and work the extra hours going above and beyond what is required by the people in charge to do what is necessary for the job to be done well. This can be applied to relationships as well. There are people who do not want to win at their relationships, but rather they do not want to lose at them, so a wife will only sleep with her husband when he begins to get uppity about it, not because she is trying to win at being married to him, and is trying to win in making love, but because she trying to avoid conflict, and not lose her husband. Likewise a husband might take care of the honey-do list, but not because he wants win at his marriage, but because he wants his wife to leave him alone. The couple that is living not to fail their marriage is a couple that does what the other person asks, but they do not do a lot of things without having to be asked, and while they make sure to acknowledge all the special days, there is nothing special about those days. A man not wanting to lose on Valentine’s Day will give his wife flowers and maybe take her to fancy restaurant because that is what is expected. A man looking to win Valentine’s Day might bake his wife a cake, or make her feel special in a way that only he knows how, or take her on big trip, again not because he is doing what is expected him, but because he wants to win the day. Playing to win vs playing not to lose. Obviously this mindset can be applied to one’s faith too. The person going about their faith not to lose is the person who reads just the bare minimum of the Bible to say that they have read it, and then they move on to something else. They come to church just enough times to ease their conscience, but no more. They give just enough to say that they have given, but make sure to count every dollar that comes out of their wallet. This is not the way we are to go about our faith. Paul states in 1 Corinthians 9:24, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.” Here Paul is talking about one’s life and how they live out their faith. Not only is Paul talking about living your life with the end goal in mind, but with the focus and dedication that runner has when there is only one prize to win. Yes, you can be a Christian with a basic understanding of the Bible, or you can be a Christian that pours into the scriptures desiring to them know more fully with each passing year becoming an expert in them such that you can teach a few things to your pastor. Which do you believe is the person who playing to win in their faith? Yes, you can go and serve people as it is convenient to you, and you can be the person that is known for give so much of their time to the service of others. You go and visit people in the hospital, and those in prison, and the homebound members not because you have to, but because you know that they will appreciate your visit, and you want to win at your faith. You can go to church during the worship service and leave as soon as the preaching is done, and you can come to church early to pray before worship starts, you could have already read and study the passage the preacher is preaching on so that you have a basic understanding of it before the service starts, and you continue to ponder and reflect upon your time in worship after you’ve gone home. Isn’t obvious which one is running the race to obtain the prize? The tricky thing about this, is this is not something that you can force yourself to do. If you don’t really want to do something but feel obligated to do it, then chances are you are going to do the bare minimum not lose rather than doing all that is necessary to win. This is where prayer and the Holy Spirit come in. At the end of the day how you live your life when it comes to the spiritual and the profane is a matter of the heart. Where is your heart when you consider your job, or church, or service towards others? If you have no heart for those activities, then they will be a job or duty to you. If this is the case with your faith, then you need nothing other than to the Holy Spirit, and pray for the Lord to change your heart. Pray that God will help to run the race of faith in order to win the prize, rather then just running so that you won’t be in last place. I don’t have many regrets, but the ones that I do have often comes from those times when I could have done more, but I wasn’t playing to win, and so only did the bare minimum. Thankfully, my savior did not act in the same way I did. Jesus always gave of himself, and loved us enough to die for us, and now has been risen from the grave and has ascended to the right hand of the Father. I know that in him I will not lose, because he has already given me victory so instead of living life trying not to lose, I can live life wanting to win knowing that because of Jesus I already have both already won, and will win in the days to come. 
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